As Grantly Dick-Read wrote in his timeless classic, Childbirth Without Fear, "The past experiences of women of mature years who have been associated either socially, environmentally, or professionally with childbirth are an extremely important source of influence upon which this psychological attitude of a young mother is formulated. We must accept the fact that even today a large number of women speak of this natural function with bated breath, an air of mystery or insinuation of its inflictions." [Dick-Read; 78]

I was very lucky in this respect. Unlike the majority of my peers, the only significant woman in my life had a wonderful experience with pregnancy and natural childbirth, and never spoke of it with a hint of fear or dismay. Like most young girls, I was curious about the phenomenon of childbirth, and asked my mother questions constantly. I wanted to hear the story of how I (only child) was born over and over. Every time my mother told the story, it was the same. A relatively quick, efficient labor without any type of drugs or pain relief of any kind, that resulted in a healthy 8 pound baby that nursed right away.

So, I had a very good, fear-free foundation upon which to build my ideas about childbirth. I think this point is more crucially important than most people realize. We ARE what we have been told, over and over, from a young age. If your mother had a terrible, traumatic birth experience, you no doubt have a deeply ingrained fear of birth that has never been a part of my reality. This is something we need to keep in mind as we talk to our daughters, and sons, about our own experiences, good or bad. We are molding their future perspectives without even knowing it. Just by considering how you present your own experiences to your daughters, you are helping them to have a better birthing experience!

By the time I finished high school, I had known several women, friends and family, who had given birth, and they all spoke of the horrors of it. Long, long labors, drugs, interventions, surgical births. I always just kind of shook my head at these stories; I knew this was not the way it was supposed to be.

By the time I got pregnant with my son in 2006, I knew that I would not consider giving birth in a hospital, expect for under the most dire of circumstances. Where I live, midwives cannot practice legally. That doesn't mean they aren't around, but they are harder to find and you have to pay at least $3000 cash for their services because they cannot accept health insurance. I got pregnant right around my 20th birthday; I didn't have $3000 laying around to pay for the services of someone I was having a hard time finding, anyway.

So, I started snooping around on the internet, and I ran across the idea of unassisted childbirth. Now, I will be the FIRST person to tell you that unassisted childbirth is not for everyone. In fact, for most people, I do not think its a good option. But, because of my background, my family history of easy pregnancies and births, my good health, and my deep and innate trust in my body to do what it was designed to do, I felt that it was perfect for me. As soon as I started researching it, it just "clicked". This is what I am going to do!

My starting point was mothering.com 's unassisted childbirth forum. There, I was linked to other sites and resources that answered pretty much any questions that popped into my head. And, most important, I learned that there were other women out there like me, who didn't see the need to have a stranger lurking by my side during the most intimate moment of my life.

I really prepared very minimally for my son's birth. I bought a birthing pool, an inflatable "fishy pool", and a shoestring to tie the cord with. I bought a new hose to fill and drain the pool with. That was pretty much it. I didn't have a birthing "kit" or any special supplies. I was armed with the basics, and the knowledge that I had gained over the past months of research. By the time my due date rolled around on January 18th, 2007, I was ready!

My son, however, was not, and he decided to stick around another 10 days before making his appearance early in the morning on the 28th.

I had no predromonal labor, and no real indication that I was going into labor until it started. It was fast, efficient, and fear free. I couldn't have asked for a better birth experience. "Derek" is my son's father. He and I are no longer together, but I will mention that he was completely on board with my choice of how to give birth, and his presence was a comfort during the labor and birth because he knew to leave me alone. I didn't know, going into it, that I would want to be left completely alone to birth, but I did. I didn't want to be touched at all. I am so glad that I made the decision to stay at home and birth alone, because in any other setting someone would have been wanting to touch me, and I found any type of touch absolutely unbearable while laboring. My birth story is as follows.

I was getting ready to go to bed around 1:30am on the morning of January 28th and when I went to use the bathroom for the final time, there was blood on the toilet paper. I felt fine, no cramps or contractions, but something told me I needed to hurry up and wake Derek up.

I woke him up and fixed coffee and told him he needed to start filling the pool. I puttered around for a few minutes, getting the crock-pot ready with olive oil and wash cloths and making sure we had lots of towels on hand. At 2:15, my first contraction hit. They were non-stop for the next five hours.

The contractions were very intense and I spent the first couple of hours laboring on the toilet or in the shower. The toilet was great – but the shower was better. Derek got in with me and I would wrap my arms around his neck and let the water beat down on my lower back during the contractions.

I checked myself in the shower and couldn’t even find my cervix, so I figured it would be afternoon before Henry made his appearance. After being in the shower for about an hour and a half, I started feeling a little bit shaky and knew I needed to do something different. My legs just weren’t going to hold me up much longer.

So, we got out and Derek added the final bit of hot water to the pool and I climbed in. I was beginning a contraction when I climbed in and OH the RELIEF! It was amazing! I was floating on my belly with my arms draped over the side of the pool. The contractions never intensified, but I guess they really couldn’t since they were one on top of another from the moment they started. I really got into verbalizing through them, keeping my moans really low. Derek says at one point I “moooooed” like a cow.

By 6am I was beginning to get exhausted. I would have sold my soul to the devil himself for a three minute break from labor. I checked myself again, and I could feel Henry’s head. My water was still intact, and my sack was bulging. Around 6:30, the contractions changed. Instead of verbalizing through them, I feel like I needed to just focus on breathing and “step-out” in a sense and let my body do the work. My body began to push! It felt great! I wasn’t doing anything but breathing and my body was pushing my baby out!

I reached down between contractions and I felt my water. It was like a huge water balloon was hanging out of me. I took my fingernails and burst it, and it relieved a lot of pressure when I did. Two more contractions later (and I’m still not doing the pushing) and Henry’s head is crowning. This is when I momentarily lost control. I jumped up out of the pool and (he says) I looked at Derek with pure terror in my eyes and told him in no uncertain terms I couldn’t do this anymore! I wasn’t thinking “hospital” I was just not thinking at all. As soon as I got the words out of my mouth, Henry’s head popped out! That felt so good!!! I sat back down in the water and I was on my knees hanging off the side of the pool. About ten minutes went by, and it didn’t seem like I was going to have another contraction, and I was really ready to be done, so I pushed twice and Henry’s shoulder’s and body slid right on out. That was the only time I pushed – the rest my body did of its own accord.

Derek said that when I pushed his chest out all of the fluid came out, so as soon as he was out he was crying loud and strong! I picked my leg up over the cord and turned over and Derek placed Henry on my belly. The cord was really short so we couldn’t put him to my breast. He was pink from the moment I saw him, and breathing just perfectly! He is definitely a post term baby, because there wasn’t a single bit of vernix to be found!

It was, truly, love at first sight. I had never seen a more beautiful sight that my child. I was in awe. I couldn’t speak, couldn’t move – I just sat there staring at him.

The water was getting cold and we really wanted to see if the placenta would come out so we could try and nurse, so we stood up, and as soon as I did the placenta splashed into the pool. Derek picked it up and we inspected it, and were happy to see that it was whole and healthy.

The next hour or two went by in a blur, and I really don’t remember too much. I got really shaky as soon as I was out of the pool and I was losing quite a bit of blood. As soon as Derek got me and Henry cleaned up, we spent the morning laying in bed dozing and marveling over him.

I’m still a little bit out of it, but I am so happy. I am physically in pretty good shape. I didn’t tear at all, and that was a relief, but I’m still very sore down there. I dread peeing. Henry is great – he is very, very alert and already had a million different expressions. I am just so in love with him! Nursing is going great so far – he has a strong latch and loves to eat!